I titled my last Reality English Video, “I would’ve killed myself if it weren’t for my mama’s love.” A student, Wassap Dood, asked me, “Is it right to say: if it WAS’NT for my mom’s love?” From my understanding of the third conditional the correct way is “I would’ve killed myself if it HAD NOT BEEN for my mama’s love.” Let’s look at some grammar to find out why that’s correct and also, we will explore the reason I’m leaving the title like I originally wrote it…seemingly incorrect or not.
First off, the title “I would’ve killed myself if it weren’t for my mama’s love” is a conditional sentence. There are four type of conditional sentences. Find a complete review (en español) of English conditional sentences from 0 to 3 in this PDF.
La Gramática del Segundo Condicional
If + pasado, would…
The second conditional is used for hypothetical situations in the present or future.
- If I studied, I would pass the test.
- Si estudiara, aprobaría el examen.
- condition: If I studied,
- hypothesis: I would pass the test.
- What actually happened? I haven’t studied up to this point in time. I may or may not study in the future. If I study, I’m sure I will pass the test.
La Gramática del Tercer Condicional
If + pasado perfecto, would have + participio pasado
The third conditional is used for hypothetical situations in the past. It is constructed of a “hypothesis” and a “condition”.
- If I had studied, I would have passed the test.
- Si hubiera estudiado, hubiera/habría aprobado el examen.
- condition: If I had studied,
- hypothesis: I would have passed the test.
- What actually happened? I didn’t study. I didn’t pass the test.
Mixed Conditionals
I have mixed the second and third conditionals in my title sentence, “I would’ve killed myself if it weren’t for my mama’s love.”
- I would’ve killed myself… – Third Conditional, past. I didn’t kill myself.
- …if it weren’t for my mama’s love. – Second Conditional, present. My mama’s love continues to exist.
- hypothesis: I would’ve killed myself…
- condition: if it weren’t for my mama’s love.
- What actually happened? I didn’t kill myself. My mama loved me then. My mama continues to love me today.
Fully third conditional
- I would’ve killed myself if it had not been for my mama’s love.
- hypothesis: I would’ve killed myself…
- condition: …if it had not been for my mama’s love.
- What actually happened? I didn’t kill myself because my mama loved me. ALL PAST!
Fully second conditional
- I would kill myself if it weren’t for my mama’s love.
- hypothesis: I would kill myself…
- condition: …if it weren’t for my mama’s love.
- What actually happened? I am not killing myself because my mama loves me (right now in the present).
A Look at WAS and WERE in the 2nd Conditional
For third person singular (I) and plural (he, she, it) it is more accepted to use WERE instead of WAS in the conditional.
- If she were here, I wouldn’t be lonely.
- If it weren’t so hot, I could finish working outside.
- If he were more patient, she’d stay with him.
- If I were her, I’d leave him.
The Take Away
Conditional sentences can be confusing, and even native speakers mix them all up creating unclear meanings. If someone says something in the conditional, the listener may ask a follow-up question for clarity. Just look at this extremely long Word Reference forum post about the sentence, “If it had not been for the traffic, I wouldn’t have been here on time.” I tried to read all of it, but these language folks just critique the language a little too much for me.
Without explaining what I was trying to say, I asked my native English-speaking Facebook friends which of the following sentences they believed was correct:
- If it weren’t for my mama’s encouragement, I would’ve given up.
- If it hadn’t been for my mama’s encouragement, I would’ve given up.
- If it wasn’t for my mama’s encouragement, I would’ve given up.
My native English-speaking friends answered:
- 6 people agreed that number 1 was correct
- 12 people agreed that number 2 was correct
- 3 people agreed that number 3 was correct
As you can see, the majority of my friends knew which sentence was grammatically correct. However, I honestly don’t believe most of them would say it correctly, if they weren’t thinking about it. U.S. Southerners have a way with being very inventive, or as one of my friends stated, artistic with the language. His answer was, “Just utilize your artistic liberty and pick one! You’ll be fine! 🤣” And he’s right. You’ll be understood no matter which one you choose. Language is always changing. Have fun being part of the change as long as you’re also being understood.
Thank you Wassap Dood for your question. I needed a little grammar time after such a long break.